Things I Would Seriously Like To Do To People Who Piss Me Off

I tried doing this on Facebook but it was too cumbersome so here it is.

My sister and I were chatting online today and we were discussing what we'd like to do to people who seriously piss us off and we accumulatively came up with the following list:

• Cut a raw onion and glue it under the desk of the varmint who is irritating you at work and wait for the smell to permeate. It is a very difficult smell to remove once it is present. *hahahahaha*...
• Dress in camouflage gear and sneak up to your neighbour, who is playing music way too LOUD at 5am, and rip out the main fuse and sneak back home.
• Turn the Gerni super high powered water hose on the same neighbour the following Monday morning as he is getting in his car to go to work.
• Buy weed killer and inscribe the word "C*NTZ" on their front lawn.
• Battery acid on the bonnet of their car - as above.
• Throw prawn heads in their ducted heating or air conditioning vents.
• Glue kitchen utensils to their windscreen wipers
• Glue their windscreen wipers to their windscreen (HAHAHAHAHAHA.....I love my sister for this one!!)
• Turn their water mains off and pour quick drying cement over it.
• Club them with a baseball bat full of nails and rusty catfood tin lids embedded
• Put a live match-head into every single cigarette that they smoke.
• Fill their exhaust pipes with 1000s and 1000s of caps and then wedge a banana in it. (What does that do?)
• Stir their coffee with a used condom
• Pooh in their desk and say "Who farted??" everytime you walk by...
• Put toothpaste in their haemorrhoid cream tube.

CAAAAARM ONNNNNN! TAKE US ON!!!

I DARE YA!!

When My Words Get Lost, My Pictures Will Tell You Where I Am

When my body is tight with the constant breathing in and holding my breath in life, I think of you............and I remember to exhale.

The Lighthouse Song

And I've been getting urges late at night

To walk and walk for days and throughout lights

Through people's houses, picking food from plates

Through people's gardens, picking locks on gates

So we are moving to a lighthouse, you and I

While seas drown sailors, we'll be locked up safe and dry

And though our doors may knock and rattle in the wind

I'll just hold you tight and we'll not let those fuckers in

And I've been leaving gifts out in the woods

That someone might stumble upon and wonder at their origins

I've been feeling like a fox with sad old eyes

Whose skulk has all moved on to leave the dark and empty den behind

So we are moving to a lighthouse, you and I

While seas drown sailors, we'll be locked up safe and dry

And though our doors may knock and rattle in the wind

I'll just hold you tight and we'll not let those fuckers in

I'll anull these little walls of attrition and these invocations

That's seen me holding my camera out at arms length

To self-document these new locations

When I should be leaning against you

Deciding on things to get done

And you should be leaning on fountains

And filling my space up and breathing the air from my lungs

So we are moving to a lighthouse, you and I

While seas drown sailors, we'll be locked up safe and dry

And we are moving to a lighthouse, you and I

Our beams will burn the clouds to beacons in the sky

And though our doors may knock and rattle in the wind

The wind...I'll just hold you tight and we'll not let those fuckers in