You know I've always had this issue as long as I've been working - part-time and full-time. What is a working Mum entitled to? Career? Judgements? Choices?
I have two children - okay, they're not small children but they're my children nonetheless.
When my children are sick or require me to attend something of significance, I have the dilemma of being there or not. I'm trying to hold down a career - no small feat in these days. My situation is not that different to the 'nuclear' family only that I don't have the support of their biological father when things get tough. His life is very separate and his place in their lives is selective. He provides support to them on his time - not on mine - so when they get sick and need looking after, they only have me - that's right - JUST ME!
I have a husband, their step-father who has been the greatest thing to enter all three of our lives. However, he isn't responsible for them. He can't ask for parental leave from his place of work to look after children that aren't his. Which goes back to me - that's right - JUST ME!
My parents have their own lives and have been supportive when our relationship isn't walking a tightrope of misunderstandings so.....when we're in that 'cone of silence' and I need help with my kids......there's me.......that's right....JUST ME!
I'm not playing the martyr - not one bit! The role I play with my children is the most important thing in my life and it's one I take very seriously. I am proud to say that I've sacrificed and I've become unselfish and not so self-absorbed purely because of them.
However, when my 1st marriage broke down and things came to the line, I did not receive child support or any other financial support - which they and I were entitled to - so I went out to work full-time. Why? Because my children's survival and well-being came down to just one person. You guessed it .........me........JUST ME!
So when I take days off work to look after my kids because they're too ill to take care of themselves, or if they've injured themselves and need to get to hospital for surgery or if they need to get to the airport for school camp or if they have mucked up at school and need to sort their troubles out.......before you comment and place your petty judgements (for the courageous to my face and for the weak and cowardly, behind my back) and, worse, make some two-faced hypocritical lame-arsed comment about me when I have to be there for my kids...........just know...that my two children only have one person who will unselfishly, unconditionally and reliably come to their rescue......ME.......damn right......JUST ME!
After you've passed judgement, know how wonderful it is to be you. You, the main bread-winner in your family. You, in your nuclear Pixi Photo pure family with a wife who is your main support network and your mother and your mother-in-law and sisters and brothers who can and do come to your rescue to help you out. Know that there isn't just YOU! There are a plethora of choices for you to rely on which I don't have.
I would love the luxury of having two of me. One who can go out and be the career cracking bread-winner and never have to worry about sick children and parent/teacher day and concerts and school camps, fetes and fundraisers and meetings with coordinators and dissolvable stitches and surgery and stroking my son's face when he's nervous with fear just before general anaesthetic. Know that no-one else is there to do these things.........but ME!
The other, to stay home and make sure dinner is always ready when you get home and freshly baked blueberry and banana muffins fresh out of the oven and clean, washed, dried and put-away clothes and vacuumed carpets and dry dishes.
So before anyone passes neanderthal judgements on working Mothers who have to take time out of their working lives to do what they initially intended to do - to love, nurture, protect, support and provide for their kids, think again, you shallow-minded cretans.
I am struggling juggling two hats on one f*cking head, okaaaaaaay?
DISCLAIMER: This isn't targetted at either of my two bosses, who actually appear to be very, very understanding and are family-minded themselves. This really is a soap-box soliloquoy to those who don't have children (and the couple of wads that do and still feel it's okay to debase) and who don't understand the dilemma of trying to be everything to everyone all at the same time.
Your petty, small-minded, two-faced judgements just add to the guilt that we feel when we are trying our best to raise our children and be the sole supporting network to our family.
No comments:
Post a Comment