Judgements

Alex came home from Nagambie today after going away with a friend, Kirsten, for a few days. Sticksy, her ex-current-future boyfriend came over as well. I've learned a few lessons from young Sticksy, a reserved, mono-syllabic lad of 21 years. He's a roof-tiler by trade and has been seeing Alex for the last 2 or so years. They've had their ups and downs and Sticksy has taught me about patience and understanding with my own daughter.

Isn't it funny how we judge - despite bleating out to the world that we don't - we do. We see people and initially form some sort of judgement about who they are, what they're seemingly about and where they fit into our lives - or don't fit, as the case may be sometimes.

Sticksy has grown on me and I have developed a tremendous amount of respect for him after he handled some prickly situations between Alex and me in the last few years. In his own way, he has calmed and shown direction, shown love and patience when it was most needed....

I also think Sticksy has slowly become relaxed in my presence as well. It didn't help when I curtseyed on his first visit and drew my skirt around a la ballet dancer style and said "Welcome Sticksy, to my humble palace". That would have sent most young men running but her 'errrrr'd and 'ummmmmm'd and took it in his stride - more kudos to you, lad.

Sticksy came over today - I was pleased that I was pleased to see him. Even if he just remains a friend of Alex's and nothing more - or whatever they end up being - I was pleased he came over today.

In my Anglo-Indian culture, we're far too judgemental about the people we associate with. I understand why those judgements exist and what perpetuates them but that doesn't mean I have to subscribe to them or feed off them. I actually abhor them. I've fallen prey to them once or twice or more in my life - and I'm regretful for the missed opportunities of meeting truly wonderfully colourful people. People who take me outside my prism and show me other ways of thought, of speech, of behaviour - people who can open my mind to other possibilities, probabilities and realities.

People who can teach me to spread my imaginative wings and fly - even if it's only for a little while until I return to my 'normal' life.

It occurs to me, from time to time, how disgustingly inferior I once felt when I was judged purely for the colour of my skin and not for the heart that beats underneath. I never forget how rejected and insignificant I felt and how, as a 10 year old girl in a new country, I wished I was accepted just for being funny and witty and smart.....or for just being Sharon.

I'm grateful that Sticksy didn't judge me too harshly for my aloof reaction to his place in Alex's life. I'm so glad that he chose to look past the woman who was prancing around in her loungeroom, welcoming him with a curtsey and a dramatic twirl of the skirt.

Sticksy ate some of my Clinkers today and tried to guess what flavour they were inside.....he got them wrong but I still let him eat my Clinkers.