A new angel in heaven - to you Darcey Freeman

I've decided to put an extra post today, in honour of Darcey. Today is a tragic day for a little Melburnian girl - Darcey, aged 4, whose father threw her off the Westgate Bridge this morning.

I cannot imagine what state of mind he was in or what motivated him to think that throwing his little daughter off the highest point of a bridge in Melbourne would solve all his problems. I don't know what would make someone do this in front of his other 2 children - to scar them for life.

The papers have said he is in an "acute psychiatric state" and I'm sure he is. My thoughts go to Darcy's poor mother, who must be insane with grief and to Darcey's 2 brothers, who must be beyond reality right now.

This was their father - the man who is meant to be defender and protector - not perpetrator.

I've been through the Family Court system and I can understand frustration, in its purest form. I've been through it, not only with my own divorce but also with Grant regarding issues about his son, Sam. I can understand the total red anger you feel towards another person, more than likely the other parent, towards the system, towards life.....and, at times, it feels like everyone is blind from the truth which is staring everyone right in the face.

I've had unsavoury thoughts towards the father of my children, towards the mother of my husband's son.....for not doing "the right thing". I've wanted to make a public show or statement to demonstrate how the law assists deception and lies and manipulative behaviour. I've even wanted time alone with both of them, separately, in a padded cell and with a baseball bat.

But I've never.......not for one moment....considered hurting my children or Grant's son. They are the people who matter most to us both. Flesh of our own flesh.......it churns my insides to think of anyone hurting them, physically or otherwise and I would do what I had to do to anyone who did. They are innocence personified.

I cannot dig deep enough into my own psyche to make sense of what has happened to an innocent little 4 year old girl who was about to see her mother and never got there. My mind starts to cave in a little when I imagine the terror she must have felt, falling .....falling.... falling into the deep dark river of her eventual death.

Yet, something tells me that she's got it easy now. She's somewhere where no-one can harm her anymore and she is in the safest place of all. In God's little garden.

I will not pass judgement on her father for I don't know what drove him to this insane moment - to a moment when all sense and reason left him, to a point in time when all things normal left his being and he committed a most horrendous deed.

My thoughts and prayers are with Darcey's mother, who has lost a piece of herself for this lifetime and she will never be the same again. the horrid thoughts going through her mind as she wonders what Darcey's last moments were like.........and for Darcy's little brothers. One will probably not remember this but the 7 year old will be scarred beyond comprehension, for his lifetime.

My thoughts and prayers are with those 3 people, who today, are in the most indescribable place, emotionally, spiritually and totally.